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How to Stay Motivated While Writing a Memoir

How stay motivated while writing a memoir

Writing a memoir can be a wonderful and creative experience. It’s a way to learn more about ourselves, explore our past, and consider our relationships. We might want to share our story, offer a lesson to others, or create a history for our children. But to accomplish our goal, we have to find ways to stay motivated through the sometimes unexpectedly long process of writing our memoir!

As you’ve likely experienced, it’s usual to start any big creative project with a lot of enthusiasm—which, like caffeine, can fuel us for the beginning of the journey. However, that early burst of energy may fade when we face the uncertainties and demands that accompany any significant creative process.

Why we lose motivation while writing a memoir

Writing a memoir can be a particularly daunting project. Many writers begin with the idea that they’re simply going to “write down what happened.” But crafting a memoir is usually much more layered than that. We not only need to remember events, but to reflect on how we felt during those events and how they affected us in the long term.

Potential roadblocks

Some roadblocks you might encounter in the memoir-writing process include fear of others reading and reacting to what you’ve written, wondering if what you have to say is “important enough” to warrant a book, and worry about legalities like libel and defamation.

Any of these might stop you in your writing tracks!

Ways to stay motivated while writing a memoir

Address your fears:

  • Talk through difficult questions with a writing coach, editor, or mentor.
  • Get legal or publishing advice to address concerns about privacy, names, or exposure. (Self-Publisher’s Legal Handbook by Helen Sedwick and Memoir Writing for Dummies by Ryan G. Van Cleave are both excellent resources for legal questions like these.)
  • Allow yourself to write exploratory material that may never appear in the final book. (See “Give yourself permission,” below.)

Learn more about crafting a memoir:

Get further support:

  • Join a memoir writers’ group. (National Association of Memoir Writers)could be a great place to start your search.)
  • Identify a trusted reader.
  • Consider consulting a counselor to advise you as you write.

While early motivation is often fueled by urgency, emotion, or the desire to tell one’s story, it’s easy to be thrown off track by uncertainty in any of the above areas. However, if you keep addressing your concerns as they arise, you are likely to find ways to continue on your path—and even enjoy the process.

Give yourself permission

Permission Slip: As I mentioned above, it can be amazingly freeing to allow yourself to just explore all aspects of your story—the good, the bad, and even the potentially embarrassing—in an early draft meant for no one’s eyes but your own. Knowing that you don’t need to share all (or any) of what you write in that version allows you the space to “think things out on the page.” Remember: You can always make decisions about what to keep and what to leave out in subsequent drafts.

Permission Slip: Although this may be counterintuitive, it’s not necessarily useful to start to at the beginning of your story. If you have launched an early draft from the beginning, and you find yourself stuck or unmotivated, try this exercise: Make a quick bullet list of incidents, scenes, and people that had an impact on your story. Include moments that feel vivid and alive to you, still. Don’t worry about chronology—what happened when. Instead, randomly pick from the list and start writing!

One stuck memoir writer I know became re-energized once she stopped trying to force herself to tell her story chronologically. When she tried this approach, her writing woke up—and she found her engagement with her memoir refreshed and renewed.

Permission Slip: Writing teacher Natalie Goldberg said that writers “live twice.” Memoir, in particular, invites us to return to moments we may never have examined with such care before. Rather than avoiding even difficult moments from your story, perhaps you’ll find you can appreciate the perspective having distance from life events offers you. This may be motivating in itself.

Let the process show you something new

Often, memoir writers discover new layers of meaning while they’re writing.

They may:

  • change their perspective
  • deepen their understanding
  • remember additional material
  • or realize the memoir is actually about something different than they first thought

That unfolding process is not necessarily a distraction from the work. Often, it is the work.

A final thought

If your motivation fades while writing your memoir, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve chosen the wrong project. It may simply mean you’ve reached a more demanding phase of the process.

Memoir writing asks for:

  • persistence
  • reflection
  • patience
  • and a willingness to stay with uncertainty for a while

For many writers, this is what makes the process meaningful.

Writing a memoir can be deeply rewarding—but not necessarily easy. I’ve written an article that offers guidance for the journey: “How to Write a Memoir.”   

If you’re interested in my approach to writing, you might also take a look at my books:
Plotting Your Novel with the Plot Clock and Jamie Helps Mel Write a Novel.

Black and white photo of memoir book coach Jamie Morris who writes here about How to Stay Motivated While Writing a MemoirCould you use some support as you write your memoir? I work with memoir writers at all stages of the process. Whether you’re just finding your way into your story or you have a complete draft, I can help.
Visit my contact page, and let’s connect.

5 Memoir Writing Mistakes That Keep Writers Stuck

5 Memoir Writing Mistakes That Keep Writers Stuck

There are a lot of “5 Memoir Writing Mistakes” articles on the web! The reason I’m writing yet another one is that I think (hope!) I have something new to bring to the party. I’ve coached memoir writers for many years, and I’ve seen where they seem to trip up most often. For sure, they don’t get stuck because they don’t have a story. Rather, they often stumble in their approach to the writing process itself.

Here are some of the most common mistakes I see memoir writers make—many of which have nothing to do with talent, and everything to do with understanding the process.

1. Starting at the Beginning: The Most Common of Memoir Writing Mistakes

It’s natural to think you need to start your memoir at the beginning of your life. We want readers to understand where we came from, right? But unless your story is actually about a childhood event (in which case, start there), it’s generally better to begin closer to the situation or circumstances that were the springboard for the experience you want to share.

Even if you don’t have the urge to start with childhood memories, you might still feel it’s important to provide a historical context for what’s to follow. That’s fair! But when you explain too much that happened before your actual story begins—like family history or other background information—your opening pages fill with explanations that are not yet meaningful to your reader. Readers do not need to know everything at once. They need a reason to care about you, first.

Perhaps the core of your story is about a difficult passage in your life: starting over after a painful divorce, for example, or dealing with a devastating medical diagnosis and the long road of treatment and recovery. Or, you might have been offered a sudden opportunity that took you in an unexpected direction, and that’s the story you want to tell.

Either way, starting at the moment when something begins to change creates a dynamic entry into your memoir. Readers will be instantly engaged by meeting you at this moment of crisis or decision, the point where something is set in motion and you swan dive into change. Whether accident, opportunity, or chance, start there! Then you can weave in relevant backstory as you move your memoir forward.

For more suggestions about how best to include backstory, read my article “10 Ways to Use Backstory in a Novel or Memoir.”

2. Determining Your Entire Story Before You Start Writing

On the other hand, you may think you already know all the angles of the story you want to tell, even before you start. And for sure it’s great to have a plan, a structure, a loose outline in mind. These can provide guardrails to keep you on track.

But be prepared! You’re bound to surprise yourself in the drafting process. Famously, short story writer Flannery O’Connor said, “I write to discover what I know.” And that may be the same for you. You may come to understand people, events, even the meaning of your story, differently than you did before you began writing.

So, stay open. If your writing offers you previously untraveled roads, take them! Your journey may challenge some of your preconceptions. But you can always turn around and return to your previously mapped direction. Still, it’s often the case that clarity—and the truth you want to tell—comes through your writing, not before it.

3. Misunderstanding the Drafting Process

Writing a memoir is a process—and one that is likely to take you through several iterations (called “drafts”) of your full story. Therefore, it can be helpful to prepare yourself to write it in stages.

Your earliest telling of your story is what you might think of as an “exploratory draft” or a “zero draft.” In an exploratory draft, you’re just trying to get all of your ideas on the page without worrying about writing style, structure, organization, or even contradictions in your memory of your experiences. It is not meant to be readable yet!

Once you’ve completed that, it’s easier to see what’s missing, where your story actually begins, and what the most impactful events were. In your official “first draft” then, you organize the elements from your exploratory draft, perhaps adding important information and tucking in backstory where it’s needed.

After finishing that “first” draft, you might want to get a (trusted!) reader to review your manuscript. Getting fresh eyes on material you’re so close to is invaluable. This doesn’t mean you must agree with everything they say! But their feedback, together with your own instincts, will guide you to make changes that will improve your third draft.

In my experience, embracing this unwieldy process actually leads to the richest final results. And, truly, if you try to make your earliest drafts too “good,” you’re likely to frustrate yourself and lose momentum, slowing yourself down, anyway.

4. Underestimating How Long The Process Takes

Writing a memoir takes longer than you probably expect: Not months. Years. You might think that once you get going, your story will take shape easily. But, in my experience, it’s a more complex process than it may seem.

When I first meet a memoir writer, it’s not uncommon for them to have dozens of pages that list events that happened to them, but that don’t yet have an arc. The arc, that rise and fall of tension and resolution, is what characterizes narrative writing. Turning raw material—the events—into a memoir requires skills that take time to master. And if this is your first book, you’re not just telling your story (which is daunting enough!), you’re learning the craft of long-form writing at the same time.

When writers don’t expect this, they can become (reasonably!) frustrated. But it isn’t a sign that the project isn’t working. It’s a sign that they need to dig deeper or level up their skills—both of which simply take (yup) more time.

If you’re writing a memoir, you deserve huge respect! You’re not just telling a story. You’re processing your experience at a deep level and then learning how to shape it into something that will engage your readers.

And all that takes time.

The Final and Most Important of My 5 Memoir Writing Mistakes:
Asking, “Does This Even Matter?” 

At some point, almost every memoir writer asks:

  • Is my story important?
  • Why would anyone care?
  • Is this worth writing?

These are completely relatable questions—but they are actually not relevant to the writing process! In fact, if you give those worries too much weight, they’re likely to capsize your memoir before it even gets started.

Believe me, your first job as a memoir writer is to get a draft of your story down on paper. Your second job is to revise that draft and make it stronger.

Rather than thinking about others’ opinions, learn your craft. Commit to the process. Do the good work for its own sake—and for yours.

If you enjoyed this insight into 5 memoir writing mistakes, you might also enjoy my article “How to Write a Memoir.”  Because the more you know, the fewer the bumps in your road. 

If you’re interested in my approach to writing, you might also take a look at my books:
Plotting Your Novel with the Plot Clock and Jamie Helps Mel Write a Novel.

Black and white photo of memoir book coach Jamie Morris who writes here about 10 Memoir Mistakes to AvoidCould you use some support as you write your memoir? I work with memoir writers at all stages of the process. Whether you’re just finding your way into your story or you have a complete draft, I can help.
Visit my contact page, and let’s connect.

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Memoir Writing Basics: What You Need to Know

Memoir Basics for Beginners

If you’re new to memoir writing, it can be surprisingly hard to know where to begin. Do you start with your birth? Maybe! But probably not. It all depends on the story you want to tell. The following memoir writing basics will help you know where to start your story—and where to go from there.

Memoir Writing Basics: What You Need to Know

First things first. A memoir is not meant to cover your entire life—that would be an autobiography. Instead, a memoir tells the story of either a particular time in your life (for example, the summer you were a ball girl for the Boston Red Sox) or a focused topic across a longer period (your life with horses, for example).

Cheryl Strayed’s memoir Wild focuses on a particular time, her solo hike of the Pacific Crest Trail—while Jeanette Walls’s memoir The Glass Castle considers a topic, her relationship with her family, over decades. And then there’s Mary Karr, who’s written three memoirs, each about a specific period of her life.

Whatever your approach, a memoir is characterized by focus. Rather than being restrictive, the frame you choose makes your story stronger, because it encourages you to dive deep enough into either the event or the topic for meaning to emerge.

Memoir Writing Basics: What You Need to Know About Telling Your Story vs. Sharing Your Message 

While some memoir writers want to simply tell their story, many have a particular lesson or message to share. It’s a continuum.

On one end:

  • narrative memoir
    → focuses on telling a story, allowing meaning to emerge through experience

In the middle:

  • message-driven memoir
    → still rooted in story, but shaped more intentionally around a central idea, rather than around events and their meaning to the author

On the other end:

  • self-help or prescriptive writing
    → organized around advice, with personal experience used to support it

A Well-Trained Wife, by Tia Levings, is a narrative memoir. It’s pure, compelling story. In it, Levings tells “about [her] race to save herself and her family and details the ways that extreme views can manifest in a marriage.”

The Healing Path, by James Finley, is more of a message-driven memoir. His book is described as “a contemplative reflection on the spirituality of healing … drawing on his lessons from Thomas Merton…. in the form of a memoir of his own recovery from the traumatic wounds of his early life.”

On the other hand (third hand?), in Daring Greatly, author Brené Brown instructs her readers in the art of vulnerability, drawing deeply on her own experiences to do so.

Wherever your book falls, you’ll want to find a structure that supports your intention.

  • A more narrative memoir leans on scenes and (usually) a chronological progression
  • A more message-driven piece may group material around themes
  • A self-help approach organizes clearly around ideas or steps

If you find yourself wanting to explain, teach, or guide the reader, it can be helpful to ask:
Am I writing a memoir, or am I moving toward something more like self-help?

Focus on Meaning, Not Just Events

Even when you’re writing a narrative memoir, though, what happened is only part of the story. What matters just as much is the meaning you gleaned from those events. As you’re writing, consider how you perceived those situations at the time and how you understand them now.

Ask yourself:

  • What did I believe was true in those moments?
  • What was I trying to understand or make sense of?
  • What did I not see or know at the time?
  • What surprised me about what happened?
  • What stayed with me long after the moment passed?
  • Where was the tension—what felt unresolved or unsettled?
  • What changed because of this experience, even in a small way?
  • What questions did this experience leave me with?
  • What would I say now to the version of myself who lived through this?

Questions like these will help you find the sturdy bones of significance in your experience and polish them to gleaming, creating a guiding light for your readers. Because, as Ursula LeGuin said, we read “to find out who we are … what it is to be human.”

And that is never more true than when we read memoir.

Your Memory Presents Moments Like Photographs

You likely don’t remember your life as a continuous narrative. What you remember are moments—scenes—specific instances you can see and hear again if you pause long enough. Something is happening. Someone is there. You can locate yourself inside the moment.

You might remember:

  • the kitchen table where a difficult conversation unfolded, the way the light came in through the window
  • the exact words someone said to you—and the moment you realized what they meant
  • the feeling of standing somewhere, waiting, not yet knowing what was about to happen
  • the smell, the weather, the quality of the air in a moment that stayed with you

Trying to tell your whole story, starting at the beginning and writing through to the end, can be quite daunting. It may be easier—and more effective—to capture evocative moments that arise from any point in your story. These might include fragments of dialogue or small, specific details that have stayed with you, like the scent of someone’s perfume or the tension of an argument.

These are the building blocks of a memoir. They’re also what engage a reader. A memoir comes alive through moments, not summaries.

As you begin to gather scenes, you may start to notice patterns—what repeats, what matters, what still feels unresolved. From there, a loose outline can begin to take shape. You don’t need to force that structure. Let it emerge from the material you’re already writing.

And when you work this way, something else tends to happen: your natural voice comes through on its own. You don’t need to try to sound like a “writer.” In fact, that usually gets in the way. Clarity, specificity, and attention to what actually happened will do more for you than polish at this stage.

You don’t need to know yet how everything fits together. Just start getting the scenes down. The shape of your story—and the way you tell it—will become clearer as you go.

Memoir Writing Basics: Start by Writing for Yourself

Memoir has it’s own challenges. When we’re writing about our lives, there may be things we feel conflicted about sharing. That’s natural. The good news? You don’t have to decide what’s going to make it into print and what’s not—at least not yet!

Your first draft doesn’t have to be something you show to the world. It can be private—something you write for yourself, or share only with a trusted writing partner, group, or coach. If you find yourself hesitating to write because some of your story feels too personal or makes you feel exposed, remember, you can always:

  • change names later
  • soften or remove material
  • decide what belongs in the final version

Memoir is shaped through writing and revision. You’ll find that patterns emerge, focus strengthens, and connections become clearer over time. In your first draft, your job is simply to write your story as honestly as you can.

If you liked these memoir writing basics, which include some things you need to know before you start writing, you might also find my article “How to Write a Memoir” helpful. If you’re interested in my approach to writing, you might also take a look at my books: Plotting Your Novel with the Plot Clock and Jamie Helps Mel Write a Novel.

Black and white photo of memoir book coach Jamie Morris who writes here about Memoir Writing Basics: What You Need to KnowCould you use some support as you write your memoir? I work with memoir writers at all stages of the process. Whether you’re just finding your way into your story or you have a complete draft, I can help.
Visit my contact page, and let’s connect.

Master the Art of Showing, Not Telling: A Curated Resource for Writers

Master the Art of Showing, Not Telling: A Curated Resource for Writers

As writers, we often hear the advice to “show, not tell,” but putting this into practice can be one of the most challenging aspects of storytelling. To help you deepen your understanding and refine this essential skill, I’ve shared a list of insightful articles by novelist MK Swanson at WritingDreamer.com.

MK said, This is a series of six posts in which I work with ChatGPT to explain the difference between telling versus showing and exposition versus scene, and how to use them in fiction. I added this list to the bottom of each post in the series. The introduction explains how I used ChatGPT to help write some of the articles and create the quizzes, commenting on its tendency to get things wrong and get lazy at the end of the week.

Each piece offers a unique perspective and practical guidance to help you master the delicate balance of evocative description and subtle storytelling. Whether you’re a seasoned writer or just starting out, these resources can provide valuable tools to elevate your craft.

Here are the titles and links for easy access:

Introduction: https://writingdreamer.com/exploring-writing-challenges-with-my-human-partner/

Are You Ready to Create a Scene: https://writingdreamer.com/are-you-ready-to-create-a-scene/

Breaking the Habit of Exposition: https://writingdreamer.com/breaking-the-habit-a-recovering-journalists-guide-to-scene-and-exposition/

Quiz 1 – Scene and Exposition, Show and Tell: https://writingdreamer.com/exposition-vs-scene-telling-vs-showing-quiz/

Scene and Exposition, Show and Tell Balance: https://writingdreamer.com/balancing-showing-telling-exposition-and-scene/

Quiz 2 – Scene and Exposition, Show and Tell Practice : https://writingdreamer.com/practice-practice-practice-quiz/

I hope you find these resources as inspiring and helpful as I do. Happy writing!

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Why Butt-in-Chair Doesn’t (Always) Work for Writers

Do you wonder why butt-in-chair doesn’t always work for writers? I mean, in theory, it sounds great, right? You just show up at your tablet or notebook and let the magic fly!

Oh, if only that were true….

Instead, you may find that, while you do show up, sit down, and fire up your laptop, the results of your enforced writing sessions are anything but inspired. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Simply disciplining yourself to commit to a regular writing schedule is great for building the writing habit. But it doesn’t always lead to creativity—or even progress.

Here are some reasons that just putting your butt in your chair may not garner the results you’re hoping for. And some strategies to help you do something about that.

Problem 1: Butt-in-Chair Can Feel Like a Chore (Ugh.)

Why it doesn’t work: After a while, sitting down every day—or even most days—can feel like a repetitive grind. This is especially true when you’re not getting new ideas after showing up so diligently. Creativity can’t always be scheduled.

What to try instead: Don’t just sit there! Involve yourself in activities that are likely to coax those fresh ideas out to play. For instance, you might try doodling scenes from your story or mind-mapping your idea with colorful markers. You could read an article on the topic you’re writing about—or even take a quick walk to gain perspective. You don’t need to produce scads of words every time you put your butt in the chair. Just showing up and courting your creative spirit may serve you better in the long run.

Problem 2: Butt-in-Chair May Overlook Your Creative Rhythm

Why it doesn’t work: If you’ve scheduled your writing for a time that doesn’t align with your natural rhythms, trying to produce good work can feel like pushing a boulder uphill.

What to try instead: If you notice you feel tired as soon as you sit down to write, experiment with writing at different times of the day. You probably already know whether you’re a morning person or a night owl. Take that, and any other self-awareness you have about your biorhythms, into account when deciding when to write.

You might also try to work in shorter blocks. Schedule thirty- or forty-minute sessions during those periods that you know you’re naturally more creative. You may actually find these quick writing bursts can lead to more productive output—and more creative work—than that which you generate during more forced, extended blocks.

Problem 3: Butt-in-Chair Doesn’t Offer You Guidance

Why it doesn’t work: Sitting down to write without a goal—or at least a sense of direction— can leave you feeling lost. In addition to making you wonder if you’ve just wasted all that time, you might also begin to question the value of your project—or, worse, your ability as a writer!

What to try instead: As a warm-up, when you sit down in your writing chair, sketch out a loose plan for the session. You might jot down a few goals for your writing time (small and manageable ones!) or bullet-point a few question you’d like to explore. You could also bring a writing prompt related to your current project to get you started. For example, if you’re writing a memoir, you could do a ten-minute free-write starting with the phrase “I remember.” And, if you have an outline, no matter how loose, keeping it nearby can help you jump right into the writing—which can provide direction and make your session more productive.

Problem 4: Butt-in-Chair Can Lead to Burnout

Why it doesn’t work: Writing for the sake of “showing up” every day can lead to burnout. This is especially true if you’re not seeing progress. “Progress” can mean the number of words you write or how your project is developing. Or (and maybe most importantly), “progress” can refer to how much you’re enjoying your own writing!

What to try instead: Sometimes, we just need to take a break. That could mean—gasp!—leaving your writing alone for a week or two. Or, instead of trying to produce fresh material with a burned-out brain, editing what you have, rather than drafting something new. You might even start a small side project—writing a short story, blog post, article, or interview—to change things up. Shorter writing projects can offer a quick shot of satisfaction that could refresh you and lift you from your burnout.

Problem 5: Butt-in-Chair Doesn’t Factor in Reflection Time

Why butt-in-chair doesn’t always work for writers: Constantly pushing forward, forcing words onto the page without reflecting on how those words are fulfilling your purpose, can keep you spinning in circles—or digging yourself into a rut.

What to try instead: Allow yourself time for “prewriting.” This can consist of jotting down ideas to explore or considering ways to organize your material. You might also try to think metaphorically about what you want to say. This might help you extend the possibilities or scope of your project. You could set aside an hour each week to review what you’ve written, too. That’s a great way to assess what’s working and consider ways to adjust your approach where needed. Or (and this can be more useful than you might think), simply spend some time wool-gathering or daydreaming in the general direction of your project. However you do it, reflection helps keep your writing process alive!

In BIRD BY BIRD, Anne Lamott Cover of Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott illustrates this discussion about why butt-in-chair doesn't always work for writersgives great advice about all aspects of the writer’s life. If butt-in-chair isn’t working for you—or you feel stuck or blocked in any other way—and you haven’t read this treasure, now could be your moment!

Why butt-in-chair doesn’t (always) work for writers

Butt-in-chair does work—for some writers, some of the time. But it’s not a one-size-fits-all solution. If you’re finding it tough to stay motivated or make progress, try adapting your approach to fit your unique style. Writing is as much about finding what works for you as it is about getting words on the page. Whether your butt is in your chair or you’re running laps around your neighborhood, shouting into your voice-to-text device, find ways to make writing fresh and fun. You and your readers will both reap the benefits.

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Am I Even a Writer? On Writing Identity and Practice

Am I Even a Writer? On Writing Identity and Practice

I’m excited to share that I’m working on a new book titled Am I Even a Writer? This quick-read, available on Amazon in January 2025, explores questions at the heart of what it means to be a writer, including issues of writing identity, writing practice, self-permission, and authenticity. A conversation-in-print, Am I Even a Writer? is meant to offer insights and inspiration to anyone who’s wondering if they can truly call themselves a writer.

The book is based on the first of five deep, wide-ranging conversations I had with my friend Melissa Jo Hill on our podcast Jamie Helps Mel Write a Novel. During this initial conversation, Mel and I touch on worries about our identities as writers and whether a writing practice might help us feel more like the “real thing.”

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OePUCkUq1EY/maxresdefault.jpg?sqp=-oaymwEmCIAKENAF8quKqQMa8AEB-AH-CYAC0AWKAgwIABABGHIgTyg2MA8=&rs=AOn4CLA2L7jWPGdW0Cz2ppjPbWUE85_qWw

As a writing coach, I’ve worked with many folks who are passionate about writing–but who may stumble over creative self-doubt: Am I a real writer? they might ask. Or, Do I have the skills to tell my story effectively? Through insights, practical reflections, and shared stories, Am I Even a Writer? On Writing Identity and Practice invites readers to consider these and other questions about what it means to be a writer, along with Mel and me.

Of course, writing is more than just putting words on a page. We can write as a personal practice, a way of exploring who we are; or as a way to share our stories with others—and for a hundred other nuanced purposes in between. In Am I Even a Writer? we’ll consider the value of having a writing practice and what having a practice does (or doesn’t) mean about our identity as writers.

Does Writing Practice Make Perfect?

Whether you do free-writing exercises, daily journaling, or sit down at your desk regularly to develop outlines, scenes, or chapters, writing practice can you make sense of your thoughts, unlock creativity, and deepen your connection to your work. But is writing as a practice—albeit one that allows us to explore without judgment and find our voice at our own pace—a prerequisite to calling ourselves “writer”?

Am I Even a Writer? On Writing Identity and Practice is meant to be encouraging to anyone on the writer’s path. Short and sweet—and funny and poignant—this tiny pocket guide to big questions is a quick, approachable read. Am I Even a Writer? will be available on Amazon in January 2025. I invite you to join Mel and me then to share in this journey of self-reflection, practice, and connection.

In the meantime, I hope you’ll explore the writing resources on my site for tips, prompts, articles, and discussions to support your writing journey.

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6 Types of Writing Practice to Help You Become a Better Writer

Whether you’re just starting your writing journey or looking to improve your craft, writing practice may be helpful to you. Here are 6 types of writing practice to help you become a better writer. Each method helps sharpen different skills, offering you a variety of ways to develop your writing and stay inspired.

1. Freewriting

Freewriting, introduced to this writer by Natalie Goldberg in her classic book WRITING DOWN THE BONES, is one of the best creative writing exercises Cover of Natalie Goldberg's classic book about writing practice, Writing Down the Bones, is one of 6 types of writing practice to help you become a better writer discussed in this article.to unlock your creativity. It involves responding to a prompt and writing continuously without editing or overthinking. This practice is great for beginners and seasoned writers alike because it helps you get words on the page and break through mental blocks.

Example: Use a simple prompt like “The air was thick with…” and let your mind wander for 10 minutes. Write whatever comes to mind without stopping to correct or censor yourself. This freewriting practice is ideal for generating ideas and breaking free from writer’s block.

Key takeaway: Freewriting uses a prompt to get started but remains unstructured and raw. It’s a great way to practice writing without worrying about perfection.

2. Morning Pages

Morning Pages, introduced by Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way, is a daily writing practice perfect for clearing your mind and staying focused. Unlike other forms of writing practice, Morning Pages are designed to help you dump all your thoughts and worries on the page, freeing up mental space for more creative work. Morning Pages can be an excellent tool for writers looking for writing inspiration each day.

Example: As soon as you wake up, write three longhand pages about whatever is on your mind. You can reflect on dreams, plans for the day, or emotions you’re working through. The goal isn’t to produce polished work but to clear your mind and set the stage for creativity.

Key takeaway: Morning Pages are a structured, daily practice aimed at mental clarity rather than idea generation, making them a useful habit for any writer looking to improve their writing skills.

3. Prompt-Based Writing

Prompt-based writing is one of the best writing prompts for writers who need focus and direction. A writing prompt gives you a starting point to explore, helping you shape a specific story or scene. This exercise is ideal for improving narrative structure and for anyone wondering how to improve their writing skills with more focused practice.

Example: Use a prompt like, “Write about a time you felt completely lost,” and develop it into a short story or reflective piece. Here, the prompt doesn’t just trigger the writing—it also guides the direction, leading to a more coherent result than freewriting.

Key takeaway: Prompt-based writing is focused and intentional. It’s perfect for writers who want to develop specific pieces while exploring new ideas or themes.

4. Journaling

Journaling is a flexible, introspective writing practice that helps you reflect on daily events, emotions, and experiences. It’s a great writing practice for beginners because it encourages regular writing without the pressure of creating polished work. Journaling can also serve as a source of writing inspiration when you’re feeling stuck.

Example: At the end of each day, write a few paragraphs about something that happened and how it made you feel. Journaling helps you track personal growth, process emotions, and can inspire future writing projects.

Key takeaway: Journaling is a personal and reflective writing practice. It helps writers stay connected to their thoughts and provides material for future creative writing.

5. Writing Exercises

Writing exercises are focused activities that help you improve specific aspects of your writing, such as dialogue, pacing, or character development. These exercises are perfect for anyone looking for creative writing exercises that target areas where they want to grow.

Example: Write a scene where two characters argue, but only use body language and action to convey the tension—no dialogue. This exercise challenges you to “show” rather than “tell” in your writing, a valuable skill for any storyteller.

Key takeaway: Writing exercises are structured, targeted practices that help you improve specific writing techniques. They’re perfect for writers who want to sharpen their craft and grow in particular areas.

6. Rewriting and Revising

Rewriting is an essential writing practice for anyone looking to improve their writing. Often, your best work comes through revision, where you refine ideas, tighten sentences, and clarify your message. Rewriting helps writers elevate their work and is an important step in developing your voice.

Example: Take a draft of a story or essay you wrote a few weeks ago and revise it. Focus on cutting unnecessary words and making your dialogue sharper. Rewriting often leads to surprising improvements in your original draft.

Key takeaway: Rewriting is where the real work begins. It’s one of the most important writing tips for new writers, teaching you to critically assess your own work and make it stronger.

Conclusion:

Writing practice is essential for every writer, from beginners to experienced authors. By incorporating these six types of writing practice into your routine, you’ll stay inspired and continue improving your writing skills. Whether you’re freewriting to unlock creativity or working through a prompt-based story, the key is to keep writing and exploring new approaches.

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10 Ways to Use Backstory in a Novel or Memoir

When we consider backstory, we see it is a crucial element in any novel or memoir. Backstory adds depth and complexity to characters and plot. But how do you use it effectively without overwhelming your readers or slowing down the narrative? In this post, we’ll explore 10 ways to use backstory in your writing, and we’ll highlight some common mistakes to avoid.

What Is Backstory and Why Is It Important in Writing?

Backstory refers to the events and experiences that happen before the start of your novel or memoir. It’s what shapes your characters’ motivations, fears, and desires. When used well, backstory adds richness to your narrative and helps readers connect with your characters on a deeper level.

10 Ways to Use Backstory in Memoir vs. Novels

For memoir writers, backstory functions a little differently than in novels. Since a memoir is a reflection on the author’s real life, backstory often serves to contextualize key moments. While novelists create fictional pasts for their characters, memoir writers use backstory to explain personal events, emotional growth, or formative experiences that influence the main narrative.

Memoir backstory also has an added layer of authenticity and emotional resonance because it’s grounded in reality. However, like in fiction, memoirists must balance how much of their past they reveal at once. The trick is to provide enough backstory to make the present compelling without overwhelming readers with unnecessary details.

1. Drip Backstory in Slowly

Instead of overwhelming readers with all the details at once, reveal your character’s past gradually. A slow, steady reveal builds intrigue and keeps readers invested.

What Not to Do: Avoid info dumps—long, dense passages of backstory that stop the story in its tracks.

2. Make Backstory Relevant to the Plot

Use backstory to explain character motivations or drive the plot forward. If a backstory detail doesn’t affect the present, leave it out.

What Not to Do: Don’t include backstory that doesn’t have an impact on the character’s current journey or decisions.

3. Reveal Backstory Through Dialogue

Let characters naturally reveal parts of their backstory through conversations. This adds depth without slowing the plot.

What Not to Do: Don’t make characters awkwardly state known facts. Dialogue should flow naturally, not feel like an exposition dump.

4. Use Flashbacks Sparingly

A flashback is a narrative device that shows events from the past as if they’re happening in real time, in a fully dramatized scene. This allows the reader to experience the moment vividly, as though it’s unfolding in the present. Flashbacks are powerful but should be used with caution. A well-placed flashback can shed light on pivotal moments in a character’s past.

Memoir writers often use flashbacks to return to specific memories that explain personal transformations or life-changing events. Just like in fiction, memoir flashbacks should illuminate something relevant to the current timeline.

What Not to Do: Too many flashbacks can disrupt the pacing of your novel or memoir.

5. Tie Backstory to Character Motivation

Ensure that your character’s backstory explains their present behavior. This gives readers insight into why your character makes certain choices.

What Not to Do: Avoid backstory that feels disconnected from the main plot or doesn’t influence the character’s actions.

6. Show, Don’t Tell

Instead of telling readers about your character’s past, show how it impacts their present through actions and behavior. For example, a character with trust issues may hesitate to form close relationships, hinting at their backstory.

What Not to Do: Don’t rely on long internal monologues to explain the past.

7. Use Sensory Details for Backstory

Ground backstory in sensory experiences like smells or sounds. This makes the flashback or memory more vivid and emotional for readers.

What Not to Do: Avoid sensory overload. Too many details can overwhelm the reader and detract from the main story.

8. Let Readers Fill in the Gaps

Allow readers to infer parts of the backstory on their own. This can create a sense of mystery and make the eventual reveal more satisfying.

What Not to Do: Don’t leave critical parts of the backstory too vague—readers need enough information to understand the story.

9. Show How Backstory Affects Relationships

Backstory is essential in showing how characters’ relationships evolve. Conflicts or bonds formed in the past can explain present tensions or alliances.

What Not to Do: Don’t let backstory drive all character dynamics. Present interactions should develop relationships, too.

10. Use Backstory to Create Conflict

Use unresolved issues from the past to add tension to the current plot. A buried secret or a past failure can create conflict and keep readers engaged.

What Not to Do: Don’t let the backstory overshadow the main plot. The past should enhance the present, not dominate it.

Avoid These Mistakes When Applying Any of the 10 Ways to Use Backstory

Don’t Overload the Beginning: Introduce backstory gradually; readers don’t need to know everything upfront.
Avoid Clichés: Overused tropes, like tragic childhoods, can feel stale unless you bring a fresh angle.
Don’t Use Backstory as a Crutch: Characters should still be accountable for their actions, regardless of their past.

In Conclusion: Backstory, when used effectively, can enhance the emotional depth of your novel or memoir. By introducing it gradually, making it relevant, and tying it into character motivation, you’ll keep your readers engaged without slowing down the action. Mastering the balance between past and present will enrich your story and deepen the connection between your characters and your readers.

How to Plot Your Novel Without Losing Your Mind

If you’re a writer looking to plot your novel without feeling overwhelmed, you’re in the right place! Whether you’re just getting started or stuck in the middle, plotting doesn’t have to be complicated. This guide will show you how to structure your story, build tension, and keep your readers hooked—without losing your mind.

Why Plotting Matters for Writers

At the heart of every great novel is a well-thought-out plot. If you’re struggling to turn your ideas into a cohesive story, don’t worry. A little structure can go a long way. In this post, we’ll break down the steps to creating a plot that’s compelling and easy to follow.

Step 1: Start with the Basics

At its core, a plot is about a character (or characters) who wants something, but things aren’t going their way. Think about your main character. What do they want more than anything? And what’s standing in their way? These questions help you establish conflict, which is the driving force behind any good plot.

Once you know what your character wants, it’s time to develop the events that will guide your story from beginning to end.

Step 2: Build Rising Action to Keep Readers Engaged

The rising action is where your character faces challenges, and the tension builds. As a novelist, this is your chance to test your character’s limits—both physically and emotionally. But make sure these obstacles feel like they’re progressively getting tougher. Your readers should feel the stakes rising with each chapter.

During this phase, it’s essential to include a **low point** or “dark night of the soul” for your protagonist. This is the moment when everything seems to be falling apart. Your character may feel like they’ve failed, or their goal is completely out of reach. This emotional low point is critical because it sets the stage for their ultimate victory—or their transformation.

Including this low point adds depth to your novel and gives your readers a reason to root for your character as they fight to overcome their struggles.

Step 3: Hit the Climax

The climax is the most intense part of your novel—where all the tension comes to a head. This is the moment your readers have been waiting for, where your character faces their biggest challenge. Whether it’s a dramatic battle, a critical decision, or a life-changing confrontation, the climax should feel like the peak of your character’s journey.

For a strong climax, make sure it challenges your protagonist’s deepest fears or desires. Readers should feel the weight of this moment and understand that everything your character has been through has led to this turning point.

Step 4: Finish with a Satisfying Resolution

After the intensity of the climax, your readers will want to see how everything wraps up. The resolution is where you show the aftermath of the climax—what has changed for your character, and how they’ve grown. A well-crafted resolution ties up loose ends and gives your readers a sense of closure.

However, not all stories need a perfectly happy ending! Sometimes, a bittersweet or open-ended conclusion can leave a lasting impact and feel more realistic.

How to Plot Your Novel Successfully: Bonus Tips

Use a Loose Outline: Even if you prefer to write organically, having a basic outline can help keep your story on track. It doesn’t have to be detailed—just enough to guide your plot without boxing you in.

Let Your Characters Drive the Plot: If you get stuck, think about what your characters would do next. Often, staying true to their motivations will help the plot unfold naturally.

Stay Open to Surprises: Don’t be afraid to follow unexpected ideas that come up while writing. Some of the best story moments happen when you’re willing to deviate from your original plan.

Knowing How to Plot Your Novel Is the Key to Success

Plotting a novel can feel overwhelming, but taking it step by step makes it much easier. By understanding your character’s desires, building conflict, and incorporating a powerful climax, you’ll create a story that captivates readers from start to finish.

Remember, there’s no one “right” way to plot a novel. As long as you stay true to your characters and the emotional journey of your story, the plot will fall into place.

So, take a deep breath, grab your metaphorical machete, and start plotting your path through the jungle of storytelling. With these simple steps, you’ll be well on your way to writing a novel that’s full of heart, tension, and excitement—all without losing your mind.

Why Your Story Matters in Today’s World

As a writer, you’ve probably heard that little voice in your head—the one that whispers, “Is my story really worth telling?” Let me assure you, it absolutely is! Whether you’re penning the next great fantasy epic or crafting a heartfelt memoir, your unique voice brings something to the world that no one else can. So, let’s silence that inner critic and dive into why your story matters in today’s world!

1. Your Perspective is Unique—Here’s Why Your Story Matters

The world has billions of people, but only one you. That’s pretty extraordinary! The way you see the world, the experiences you’ve lived through, and the lessons you’ve learned are all things no one else can replicate. It’s tempting to think, “Surely someone else has already told this story,” but no one else can tell it the way you can. Even if your story is about dragons or post-apocalyptic worlds, your take on it will be different from anyone else’s. Readers are always on the lookout for fresh, authentic perspectives!

2. Stories Create Connection

Ever read a book and thought, “Wow, this author gets me!”? That’s the magic of storytelling. Stories bridge gaps across time, space, and experiences. Whether your readers are nodding in agreement, crying alongside your characters, or laughing out loud, you’re making them feel seen. You’re offering a piece of yourself that resonates on a deep level, and that connection is powerful. By sharing your story, you help others understand themselves, their relationships, and the world around them.

3. Overcoming Self-Doubt is Part of the Writing Journey

Let’s face it: if you’ve ever second-guessed your work, you’re in good company. Every writer has faced the dreaded imposter syndrome at some point. The trick isn’t to make it disappear—it’s to write through it. Writing is a process, and no one expects perfection on the first try (or even the tenth!). The more you write, the more you learn to trust your instincts. Every writer has their “What am I even doing?” moments—you’re not alone!

4. The World Needs More Stories—Including Yours!

It’s easy to think the world doesn’t need another story. But readers are constantly searching for fresh voices. Even if your story feels small or ordinary, trust me—it has the potential to touch someone deeply. Maybe your story will offer comfort to someone or inspire them to chase their own dreams. Imagine a reader out there, waiting for exactly the kind of story only you can tell.

5. Celebrate Every Milestone in Your Writing Journey

Writing a book can feel like an uphill climb, but every step counts. Finished a chapter? Celebrate! Typed “The End”? Celebrate again! Writing a book is no small feat, and it deserves recognition at every stage. By celebrating your milestones, big or small, you’re making the process more enjoyable and keeping the momentum going.

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