Your life has been full of people and events—some more impactful, some less so. Now you want to write a memoir. While your life may have unfolded in messy layers and in no particular order, you’ll need to wrangle your story to give your readers a memoir with shape and focus. And exactly how do you find that focus when you’re considering forty years of lived experience? You put on your writer’s hat and decide exactly what to write your memoir about.
Probably the quickest way to accomplish this is to borrow a technique from novelists and screen writers. These pros rely on a focusing tool that can help you, too. It’s called the major dramatic question.
What Is a Major Dramatic Question?
A major dramatic question (MDQ) is the single, central question that keeps a reader reading through an entire book. In a mystery, it might be as simple as “will the detective catch the killer?” In a romance, readers turn pages to learn how the star-crossed lovers finally commit to one another.
A memoir, however, is a different bird altogether. Because it’s based on your real life and real circumstances, naming your MDQ may not be as simple as it is for novelists. But it’s just as important. It’s the question you entice your reader with on the first page—and which you must answer by the final page. It’s the engine that propels your story across 80,000 words.
If your memoir is about surviving a difficult childhood, your MDQ might ask whether you’ll break free of the chains of trauma and engage in healthy relationships. If your memoir is about a loss, the question could be whether you can find a reason to keep living without the person who gave your life its meaning. Whatever your question, it’s the thread around which your whole book is stitched.
The MDQ Gives Focus as You Write Your Memoir
In your memoir, the major dramatic question will ask about your transformation. Readers don’t turn the page because they need to find out whether you survived. (You’re writing the story, so obviously you made it through!) They turn the page because they need to find out how you changed because of what you endured. Or how you became capable of doing what you did.
The MDQ gives you perspective on the events of your life, offering a way to consider what to include (does it help develop or answer the MDQ?) and what to leave out.
With your MDQ as a focusing tool, you’re less likely to allow your memoir to sprawl, to become just a collection of things that happened to you. Instead, you can make sure every scene earns its place by asking, “does this move my reader closer to an answer, or does it just take up space?” A scene might be beautifully written and completely true, and still not belong in the book if it has nothing to do with the question you’re trying to answer.
MDQs in Well-Known Memoirs
Let’s look at eight best-selling memoirs. As you’ll see, each MDQ contains both a concrete question and a more abstract one—because both are important. The concrete question gives a story its forward motion—it’s something we can picture. The abstract, internal question creates emotional stakes—it’s what makes the story matter.
The Glass Castle, by Jeannette Walls
Will Walls break free of her parents’ chaos without losing her love for them? And will she get herself out of Welch, West Virginia, and to New York?
Wild, by Cheryl Strayed
Can Strayed survive a hike of eleven hundred miles on the Pacific Crest Trail alone? And walk her way back to herself as she does so?
Eat, Pray, Love, by Elizabeth Gilbert
Will a year of travel from Italy to India and, finally, to Indonesia help Gilbert rebuild her self-worth after her marriage collapses?
Educated, by Tara Westover
Can Westover pass the ACT and get herself into a classroom for the first time at seventeen years old? And can she claim a mind and a life of her own without losing her family entirely?
Night, by Elie Wiesel
Will Wiesel and his father survive the concentration camps? And will Wiesel’s faith and sense of self survive the Holocaust?
Just Kids, by Patti Smith
Will Smith and her lover Robert Mapplethorpe manage to feed and house themselves long enough to make it as artists in New York? And will their bond survive as they each become who they’re meant to be?
H is for Hawk, by Helen Macdonald
Can Macdonald get her hawk, Mabel, hunting successfully in the field? And will training her wild hawk help her survive her father’s death?
Find Your MDQ and Write a Compelling Memoir
Try this if you’re not sure of your memoir’s major dramatic question:
1. Write one sentence describing who you were on the last page of your story. Compare it to who you were on the first page. What changed?
2. Turn that change into an internal, abstract question. Not “I learned to forgive my father” but “will I be able to forgive my father.” The question should feel open, even though you already know how it resolves.
3. Look for events that show your question. If your MDQ is “will I be able to forgive my father,” you might write about a moment with him you can’t think about without flinching. Or about something he did that you’ve never told anyone.
4. Pick a few scenes to write. For each, ask: does this scene move me closer to an answer to my question? If not, it may not belong in your book.
5. Say it aloud. If you can’t say your major dramatic question in one breath to a friend, it’s probably still tangled up with two or three other questions. Keep narrowing until it’s a single thread.
Take All the Time You Need
Your major dramatic question might not lock into place right away. Let it evolve as you write. Once you find it, you’ll notice your story gets easier to write—because you’ll be sure what every page is for.
Wondering what to write your memoir about? It’s a great question—and one I can help you answer. I work with memoir writers at all stages of the process. Whether you’re just finding your way into your story or you have a complete draft, I can help. Visit my contact page, and let’s connect.
If you’re interested in my general approach to writing narrative, you might also take a look at my books: Plotting Your Novel with the Plot Clock and Jamie Helps Mel Write a Novel.